Friday 6 March 2009

Nosebleeds And Little Orcs

Yaman din lamang na nasa uso ngayon ang pariralang ito (kahit simpleng Ingles lang, dinudugo na), babahaginan ko kayo ng isa kwentong epistaxis (o "nosebleed").



Isang araw, may mga batang walang pakundangan kung magingay sa harapan ng bahay namin (oo, mahilig silang maglibang sa bahay ng may bahay). Dahil ako ay mabait at nagpapanggap na hindi mainitin ang ulo, sinabihan ko sila ng “Shhh, huwag kayong maingay. May natutulog.”


Ang sagot ng mga bata: “WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Ang mga kutong lupa, sinigawan pa ako at lalong nilakasan ang mga boses.


Napuno na ako.

Sabi ko sa pinuno nila: “Goblin, lead me to your mother! For I must parley with your pitiful kin. For why hast thy mother, a daughter of Man she claims, taught you not the ways of our race? And instead reared you like a petty gremlin, nay, a worm of insignificant if not troublesome purpose in this world? Go now and fetch your progenitor! For if she is found guilty of this error, I will slay her before you for bringing into this world a living, festering sore in seemingly human raiment – though trust that this raiment is failing thee, for to me thou art more swine than any other lesser creature of this world.”

Nagdugo ang ilong ng batang ipis at namatay.

If you think that was mean, you should see for yourself. Those "children" are evil. And thus can no longer be considered children.

5 comments:

  1. Thy nose bleeds profusely. Your words escapeth thee!

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  2. aldrin! i share your revulsion for the little critters! ang dapat gawin sa mga yan yung "modest proposal" ni jonathan swift. :D

    love the pic. dapat ipanakot sa lahat ng damuhong mga bata yan! wahaha!

    interesting na sa pinas, nag-no-nosebleed pag hindi maintindihan ang ingles. sa japan naman, nag-no-nosebleed pag na-aarouse. wehehe!

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  3. Mugen: Their noses didst bleedeth, fell and full.

    Deejay: Yak! Hindi ko gets. Bakit sila dinudugo este nagdudugo ang ilong kapag nalilibugan?

    At ano yung proposal ni Jonathan Swift? :)

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  4. kasi nag-iinit sila. parang yung body heat, umaakyat sa ulo so yun, nagno-nosebleed. wehehe. sa mga anime/manga/jdorama, ganun ang metaphor nila pag somebody's in lust. nyehehe!

    ang "modest proposal" ni swift e to raise babies as livestock. nyehehe! it was a satirical work that got him in lots and lots of trouble kasi many people during his time thought that he was being serious. :D

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  5. Ay, hindi ako marunong manuod ng anime o jdorama. Tingnan mo dito: http://whitewatcher.blogspot.com/2008/01/time-to-shout.html

    Zenki lang ata ang sinubaybayan ko. Hehe...
    --

    LOL@Swift. You remember my friend who got into trouble with his posts? His boss was dumb/humourless enough to think that his satire was *serious*.

    Seriously though, I think parenthood should be applied for. There should be a screening process to it. We're obviously overpopulated; we don't need any more kids. The only people who should be allowed to breed are those who can actually care for their offspring.

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