From my online bulletin board, 5 March 2007:
I was reading through my Friendster messages (not all of them, of course, there were 704) and it just dawned on me how I had jollier relationships before than I do now, number wise. Now I have friends who ignore me; who've ditched me at some point of my life; who consider me dead (judging by awkward year-long silences); who've broken their promises of perpetual brotherhood; who've totally forgotten the sweet things we once shared. It makes one wonder whether one has done something wrong; something unnatural. Tell me. Have I changed for the worse? What ills have I cast, what evils have I spun? I need to know and I want to. So I can atone for them; and better myself.
That said, at least now I know who my true friends are. Those who've been patient with me all this time. The numbers may have been reduced drastically, but the sifting is worth it. Painful, considering how I've always treasured memories, but the Gods are wise and sweet in their cruelty.
I thank you, friend, for staying with me. I thank you for your sincerity and loyalty. I promise to stay with you as long as you want me to.
To those who've "gone", I still consider my part of our friendship valid. You are still very welcome to reclaim your end, if you wish. If you wish.
Sincerely, this week's drama.
AND just when I was about to fade back in time and regress again, a friend replied:
“It's gonna go away. Savor the pain because in the long run, when you are old and weary and you'll look back... you'll realize that they were the best years of your life.
There is always a price for being who you are or what you are becoming. We pay for it on a daily basis... with interest.
And you are right, the Gods are sweet and wise in their cruelty. And we can only hope that there is a purpose for all this.”
Very wise....and sweet (the whole message). I will remember his words forever. May it also send you comfort in dim times. Safest winds...